I'm back home in ol' Missouri. I thought i had my next step all planned out, at least where i'd move. I believe God is calling my name and it scares me! I have a friend back here in K.C where he is doing inner city ministry with kids. For the last 5 to 6 years he as grown this ministry from about 15 kids to around 55 kids. The amazing thing about it all he has done it with little volunteers and no financial support. He hasn't had a job the whole time working with the kids and hasn't even got paid one cent to do what he's doing. The youth at the church out number the adults 55 to around 10. It scares me that God may be calling me to this ministry with my friend. I'm afraid of what i will see and the circumstances i will be placed. If i make this step it will probably be the most difficult thing i have done in my life. The other day (Sunday) i was telling God how much i feared to go into this situation because i have no clue what i am getting myself into. I was praying God would show me something in church. The message was perfect and I felt God speaking to me. The pastor talked about how alot of our fears are LEARNED rather than being born with them. God said "I haven't given you a SPIRIT of FEAR but a Spirit of Sonship. Another scripture that was shown to me was: There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love (1 John 4:18). I have a fear of what i might see or what i might be faced with but God has assured me that He knows where i am going and what i might be faced with. I have a fear of someone shooting me or stabbing me. I have a fear of seeing blood, violence, drugs, suffering and pain that kids and adults face on regular basis. I believe God wants me to see these things, He wants me to face my fears. "If God is for us, Who Can be against us"
I've learned that i have to be willing to go anywhere and do anything for the Name of Jesus Christ. In order for Heaven to come and shine its light into the pits of Hell we have to be willing to Face our Fears and go into the dark dreaded places of this world. God wants to use you and me. Death no longer has dominion over our lives if we are in Christ Jesus. Our home is not here but in Heaven with God. Evil can't snatch something that isn't flesh. God help me to face my fears. I want to change this world in the Name of Jesus Christ. |